Would the younger you be proud, or just tired?

Hi {{ subscriber.first_name }},

I'm writing this from the gate at the Tampa airport, waiting to board my flight to Los Angeles.

🎧 Listen on Spotify / Apple — reflection at the end.

I just spent five days with my family and I soaked up every second of it. I was fully present, barely keeping track of my phone. Which also meant I broke my posting streak. I was close to 50 days straight.

It's not that I don't know how to batch content. It's that I don't post and ghost. When I show up, I engage, I connect, I talk. And if I know I can't have the conversation, then I don't post. That is how I built community. Intentional community.

That's the same reason there's such deep trust between me and all of you who read these letters. You know I care, deeply, about each of us living a life that feels good in our fucking body.

This was also a very emotional week.

I took my boy Elvis to the neurologist and got the news that it's either brain swelling or cancer. He's a nine-year-old Frenchie, so it's very risky to operate. Anesthesia is required for the surgery and for the MRI, so I'm opting out of the MRI and keeping him comfortable instead.

That was not an easy call. I’ve been torn up about it. The moment he's ready to go I will let him go even if it fully kills me.

So right now I'm sitting in anticipatory grief. I know what's coming. I know I can't delay it and I can't change it. And I also know I'm proud of myself for not guilt-tripping myself about social media through all of it.

What the fuck does this have to do with social media?

Here's the thing. I'm an incredibly disciplined person. When I commit to something, I finish it. My goal during my VIP cohort was to post every single day, and I didn't just hit it. I sold out my offers and my containers, and I kept posting for two and a half weeks after the cohort ended.

That's exactly why I built the Fuck Around and Find Out Challenge. Accountability changes what you're capable of. The women in the July cohort are one week in and already showing me, and showing themselves, what's possible now that they've finally put themselves first.

I'm truly writing this from the in between. Wanting to create more, build more, post more, and also just wanting to be home holding my boy. 🐾

And underneath the conflicting feelings is the reality that I'm building a company. I need to get to LA for work. My partner Patty and I are shooting content for Thrive & Lead. Sometimes things don't stop. They must keep going. But you still hold the power of prioritization and choice.

That's the privilege of the life I've built.

I get to choose when I act. I get to choose when I show up. No one holds me accountable but me. I built that framework on purpose, and you deserve to build it too.

Because life is going to hand you things that take more than a day to grieve. More than a day to heal. More than a day to get done what has to get done. And if you work for someone else, that's really fucking hard, because you're counting your PTO, making sure you don't run out of them.

That's a different kind of gamble, and I don't like that gamble.

☁️ I'm finishing this letter above the clouds on the way to LA, and I'm recording the audio from the hotel. So it'll sound a little different this time. I hope you hear that it's not about being perfect. It's about getting it done. 2026 has taught me that.

I've learned so many lessons this year. I bet you have too.

One of those lessons is that joy can live right next to grief.

And you're also allowed to fully disconnect and just be in the moments that matter.

These few days with my family were core memories. I wasn't on my phone. I chose not to be, because I knew I couldn't be present and I don't do things half-assed. I don't text half-assed either. If I'm not emotionally and energetically available, I just won't do it.

I hope you keep proving to yourself that you're worthy of pausing when you need to.
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I hope you keep loving yourself, trusting yourself, doing the things you set out to do, because life is long and unpredictable.
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We deserve to look back and think, fuck, I did that right. A life that sets the example for our nieces, our nephews, our kids. A life the younger you would be so fucking proud of. ❤️

I'm sending you all my love, and a hug. Have a beautiful week.

Until the next letter,

Vanessa

P.S. Some days life will feel polarizing. Anyone else?​

​Vanessa Santos