How To Discover Your Purpose

4-min read

It is often said: when you follow your passion you discover your purpose. Getting there is easier said than done. I spent the better part of my 20’s trying to figure out who I was, what legacy I want to leave behind, wondering if I was doing enough, and also knee-deep in the corporate rat race. It’s easy to let job titles or societal pressure define you however the answer is in experimentation and listening to your inner voice.

Sometimes your aha moment arrives in unexpected ways. I always knew that I had a knack for motivating people and getting them to drink their own Kool-Aid. I had the ability to tell stories that grabbed the attention of my listener and provoke them to do the thing that they want to do the most. Yet, I couldn’t take my own advice. (Sound familiar?)

It was one evening where I was working on a project, late in the office and I could sense that a colleague of mine was struggling. She came over to my desk and asked for feedback on a project. Instead of answering her question, I responded with a question in return, “What is the feedback you are actually looking for, and why?”. She was puzzled at first and then a few seconds later, her eyes lit up. It’s as if something inside her woke up from a long nap. She then responded, “I feel the need to seek the approval of others, I guess because I always sought it from my dad. If I think about it, I’m not happy in this role but it gives my parents something to brag about.”

I then said, “Cool, so you are living out your parent’s unfulfilled dreams. If you had the support and validation from your parents, what would you do?”. Her eyes once again lit up, to which she emphatically said, “I would take time off, travel, and help build water filtration systems in impoverished communities.” ‘Whoa’, I exclaimed. “Ok then, how is this PowerPoint presentation going to get you to your goals?", I asked. That’s when she realized that she had been working unnecessary hours, vying for a promotion she didn’t really want but felt she needed in order to feel like the work she had put in at our company was justified.

A quick video on this very topic:

@lavidaglamour

10 things I wish I knew before my 30’s: Part 1 ##advice ##lifeadvice ##careeradvice ##learnfromme

♬ original sound - LaVidaGlamour

We both realized we had been talking for over 45-minutes when she apologized for “taking my time”. I asked, “Why are you sorry? We both contributed to this conversation.” To which she said, “I know you have a long commute and I can see you too were in the middle of something… BTW, I really appreciated your honest feedback in our women’s leadership meeting earlier today.” For some reason, at that moment, I didn’t care that it was past 8 pm and that I was still in the office. I could sit there and keep talking to her for hours about why she should be chasing her passion. That’s when I knew that I could be doing more, I just needed to shift my focus on what was getting my energy.

If you’ve been wondering how to uncover your purpose,

I’d start by asking yourself why you like the things that you do. Is it because it was pushed on you as a kid? Is it because everyone around you was doing it? Or is it because you actually enjoy spending your time engaging in this activity. If it’s the latter, good for you! Now think about how you can combine what you love doing and find ways to make money doing it.

And, If you feel stuck,

make a list of the things you enjoy doing most and why. Make a second list of things you are good at or things you want to be better at. Then make another list of what your ideal future life looks like if money and family approval, were guaranteed. What are those things? What activities do you engage in that you get lost in for hours that bring you joy? Now, imagine that you could make money from it, wouldn’t that be awesome?!

The list is part of the exercise is meant to stop the judgy part of your brain working. Many times, the reason we feel stuck is due to our own self-imposed limiting beliefs. Many times it’s due to us feeling pressures from family, friends, society as to what “success” looks like. Often times, you just don’t know. Whatever the case may be, taking the time to list your what and your why can help unlock the things you’ve been searching for all your life.

If you need some extra help, check out our handy Venn-diagram and start making your lists.

Need some extra guidance? Check out my TikTok series “What I Wish I Knew (and did differently) In My 20’s”